I want to take everything I’ve learned and experienced to support others who may find themselves in the same situation as me.
In my teenage years I was pretty shy, so would drink for confidence and to fit in. Drinking was fun, I loved going out with friends, socialising and I would often be the last one home. It’s what everyone done right? I had always believed you needed alcohol to have fun.
Fast forward many years later and I was drinking to relax and numb out emotions which started to turn into a regular habit. I would always justify my drinking and think it was ‘normal’ and that I wasn’t that bad. It’s only when I tried to control this habit I realised it was actually controlling me. Deep down I knew it was causing problems as one drink was never enough for me. I had no off switch.
A turning point
When I did drink it wasn’t fun anymore, I often let myself down, felt ashamed and made poor choices, as well as the horrible side effects of blackouts, hangovers and wasted days. I was in the worst shape of my life physically and mentally. I didn’t feel proud at how I was living at all and only I could change this.
In 2015/16 I came across a OYNB advert and I was intrigued straight away. Two guys, Ruari and Andy managing to go alcohol-free and they were proud to share it, building up a community of likeminded people. I had never known anyone to be ‘proud’ and ‘loving life’ whilst not drinking! Only shame, miserable and often feeling left out.
Starting my alcohol-free challenge
So, I jumped on board, completing 28 days, then a couple of 90 days here and there. Many day 1’s and failed attempts and this continued to be the hamster wheel I was on for the next 6 years. I can now proudly say I’m about to hit 9 months alcohol-free and have never felt better.
My new life
I’ve found a passion for getting out on the hills, open water swimming, mountain biking, I even enjoy the gym now. There are so many benefits including..
- Being a better mother, partner and friend
- Better mental health and more clarity
- Improved sleep
- Less anxiety
- Maintaining a healthier weight
- Trusting myself
- No more hangovers or blackouts
- Saving money
Having good people around me, cheering me on means I’m much more braver to talk about sobriety. I now understand the importance of meaningful connection.. Find your tribe!
The OYNB support
The Instagram sober community is AMAZING as well as the OYNB Facebook group! Everyone is so encouraging as we all understand the grey area of drinking. I’d highly recommend giving one of their challenges a go if your keen to change your relationship with alcohol.
I’ve been doing lots of inner work this last year and I’m finally finding my true authentic self without the haze of alcohol lurking over me.
There is such a stigma around alcohol. It’s the only substance we are questioned over if we take a break or give it up. I guess I wish as a society we would show the same support to someone who had, let’s say… given up smoking! Maybe then people would not feel embarrassed or ridiculed by choosing not to drink.
What's next?
My hope for the future is to continue my alcohol-free journey and graduate as an accredited coach in OCT 21, specialising in the alcohol-free zone. I want to take everything I’ve learned and experienced to support others who may find themselves in the same situation as me. I’m past the FOMO stage and now realise that I’m gaining so much more in life.
An entrepreneur and former senior oil broker, Ruari gave up drinking after excessive consumption almost cost him his marriage, and worse, his life. Going alcohol-free improved his relationships, career and energy levels, leading to him founding OYNB to provide a support network for others.
